Trust and Hormones

Ever feel like the world is just crumbling down around you at just the most inopportune time? 

Of course if you really sat down and thought about it, it's really NOT that bad. 

I had this feeling on Thursday. 

So Thursday started out well. I knew I was going to get to see my midwife to hear some progress.

(Go here to see our birthing center we are using) 

She checked everything out and told me I was 3 cm dilated and that she could feel the head so she knew that Ainsley was really really low. 

So I left excited. I knew that still meant I could not go into labor for a while. But oh how much it made me so happy to know that there is progress. 

So let's back up to Monday. 

The owners of our house came by to do some yard work, which they do normally. They are really wanting to get their house sold  (in which we are living in on a month to month basis as we are looking for a house to buy) so they are trying to make some improvements to it. 

Anyways, the two rooms upstairs walls are in pretty poor paint shape, so they were wanting to repaint. Of course we don't mind, we are just so grateful to them. 

So they ask me on Monday if they can have someone come paint the upstairs. I'm still thinking I have 2 weeks left and told them that the nursery was in one of the rooms and that if they did it like this week then I don't see a problem in it. I was thinking the fumes and everything would be gone by the time Ainsley came and I could put the nursery back together. Plus how do you tell someone they cant paint their own house? and  it def. would make the rooms look better. 

So they tell me that they can get someone in here the next day or Wednesday. 

Time rolls on and the guy cant come until Thursday. 

Normally I wouldn't care but when I find out from my midwife that day that I am due any day now then that really put a damper on things. 

I really didn't want Ainsley to sleep in our room. I wanted her to go straight to her nursery after she was born. That is just the way I wanted to do things. So we never purchased a bassinet or anything and the crib is way too heavy to bring down stairs. 

I had hope that this guy (Phil) would get the room painted on Thursday. 

Okay so he starts on the Nursery. Pushes all furniture to middle of room and we take down everything I put up. 

 So he takes all of the light covers off and so forth.... then I guess he decides to go over to the guest bedroom. 

This bedroom had some Clemson (insert barf here) wall paper border around it, and the owners were just wanting to take it off and put a chair rail instead. Well Phil takes the wall paper off and the glue was so sticky that he needed to plaster and then sand it. So he spends all day doing this project....

So in my mind I'm thinking "Really? Why would he not finish the nursery room so we can have it put back together sooner instead of starting on another room and deciding to keep working on that one! Plus my mom is coming and both rooms are in disarray!"

Okay so the owners call and tell me that he will be back Friday morning until noon to finish painting. I have no idea what he did up there Friday morning but it looks the same. I think all he got done was sanding? But he never once went back into the nursery. 

Also our Realtor calls us on Wednesday. She asks if she can show the house on Friday between 2 and 3:30......I say yes. We don't mind the house being shown. We knew that coming in to this, but on Good Friday? The one day that Robbie has had off since we have been here. After he has been at the church for 12 hours every day this past week (not even an exaggeration!).

Then the Realtor calls me on Thursday "Can I show the house on Saturday at 11:30". I again say yes. This one I really didn't care about though. Robbie was going to be gone and I had nothing to do anyways.

Then later Thursday night, I get a call from the Realtor again. This time she tells us that Phil, the painter, said there was garbage in the garage and that it made the whole entire house smell like garbage. Now I will be honest in saying that there was garbage in the garage....a whole 3 trash bags full ha.(we live out of the city limit so we have to take it out ourselves and Robbie does this usually on Saturday or very least once a week). How in the world do you think 3 bags of trash is going to make a two story house smell like garbage? This hit me on a personal level because I do not let me house smell bad! That is a big thing for me. I light candles (one of my obsessions), I spray febreze if I need to, but my house will not stink. 

Okay so moving on. I go to dinner with girls on Thursday night. I leave and get in my car and have a meltdown. I try to call Robbie, but he is in a meeting. So I call my mom. I am hysterically crying.."I can't do this, they want the house show ready, they took apart my nursery that I worked hard to get together, they said my house stinks, Ainsley has no where to sleep, I just can't do this anymore! I want my own house!" 

Mom's response..in a very calm voice "Okay Jenn, calm down. It is going to be okay." 

In this moment, I felt like everything was crumbling around me. I had this perfect idea of what my first child would come home to. I was devastated that my nursery was taken apart. 

God shows up. He is always there, but showed up. "Trust" He says. 

Even in the most trivial of circumstances, we often can stray from God's truth. That he will never forsake us. And even in my hormonal state he reminds me that it is going to be okay. That my plan of this perfect little nursery and coming home to this perfect little idea i had planted in my mind was all MY plan. Not His. Plus not to let anger stir up over something that can be fixed. Ainsley may not be in her nursery the day she comes home. But she will get there one day. I just need to get over my idea of it. 

Plus...today I show up at the house after a wonderful clothing swap with some amazing girls to find two packages on my door step. What could they be? My wonderful mom bought us a bassinet travel play pack. 

I was so excited, I put it together right away! Such sweet relief. My baby will have a place to sleep after all. 

Also thought I would post pics of our rental home we have been in. We love this house and so wish we could buy it! But way out of our price range. But we are enjoying it for the time being. 

This is a room upstairs. Talk about the PERFECT craft room. I love it! I spent most of my time up here before I closed Etsy. Those cabinets are full of fabric just waiting to be used :). 

Kitchen

Nook area, right next to kitchen. 

This is all I have right now ha. I forgot to take a picture of the Master bedroom and bathroom with the closet that you could fit a full size bed in. Also didn't take a picture of the living room because I don't want to reveal the reupholstered chair just yet, and there is another room upstairs that I forgot to take a picture of. 

Hope everyone is doing well. And it wont be long before I get to post my birth story :)!