Not at all as I planned

Monday May 2, 2011 6:30 am

I wake up with this cramp like feeling. I curl into a ball and let it go for about about 15 minutes. I realize that this feeling is coming and going every 3 minutes. So I wake Robbie and tell him that I think I am having contractions. He wakes up and gets a piece of paper and starts timing them for me. He wants to wait a full hour before we go to the hospital or anything, especially after all the false alarms we had been having with the whole trying to induce thing. 

For some reason I believe God just gives you the innate ability to know when you truly are in labor. I just knew this was it, the real deal. 

7:30 am

After an hour of timing we realized that my contractions were 3 minutes apart. I go upstairs and wake my mom and tell her that I am in labor. 

8:15 am

We are finally on our way to the hospital. We reach the ER and they come out with a wheel chair and roll me in to get all my information. Now when you are in labor this part is kind of frustrating. You cant really talk during your contraction and they keep making you fill out your telephone number on 5 different forms. Anyways, finally the nurse comes and gets me and rolls me all the way to the other wing of the hospital to labor and delivery. 

This is when we knew for sure that it was time and Robbie could actually post on Facebook to let people know that we were in labor. 

8:30 am 

 My sweet doctor comes in to meet us. She lets me know that I have a fever and that they need to give me some anitbiotics to treat it and also so it wont affect Ainsley. Supposedly I had developed a slight infection around my amniotic sac. So then she lets me know that I am 4 cm dilated and that my pelvis is VERY narrow. But she is encouraging and tells me that there is no reason that I shouldn't still try to have Ainsley naturally.  So on goes the labor....

4 hours later...... 12:00 pm

My contractions were very close together this whole time and I am in pain but it was nothing I couldn't manage. I really used all my tricks and really focused. Robbie and my mom at my side helped so much. 

The doctor comes back and tells me that I progressed to 7 cm!! WOW! We were so hopeful and excited to think that we only probably had a couple more hours of labor to go. Since usually at this point the labor progresses pretty quickly for most. However, the contractions at this point are even more intense. 

5 hours later:...5:00 pm

These 5 hours were miserable. I mean the worst pain I could imagine. I really tried all of my tricks and focused a lot. I was determined to have her naturally and not to take any sort of medicine. But I could feel her trying to come,...but was she stuck? ....well the doctor came back around 5pm. I was in so much pain that I couldn't even focus or try to breathe correctly. I was so close to just wanting to cry. I can't believe I didn't. Anyways the doctor came in and checked me again. I had only progressed 1 cm. She also realized that Ainsley's head was not in a good position. She was trying to come out face first instead of the top of her head. At this point I couldn't do it anymore and asked her what we could do. She told me that we could keep going for another couple of hours and they could try to twist her. I looked at her and just knew that it was not going to work. I asked her what the next plan was. She said that I had a 75-85% chance that I was going to end up having to have a c section in the end. So I opted to just go straight to the c section instead of trying anything that was not going to work. I just knew Ainsley was not going to come down. She was just too big.

5:30 pm

They get me prepped for surgery and come in and tell me all of the warnings that go with having a c section. Robbie did such a good job at putting on a good face for me, but he let me know afterwards that he was terrified. I was in just so much pain. I felt like my pelvis was going to break in half. I didn't even have a chance to worry about it.  They told me I could only have 1 person in there with me and so my mom was not able to come in with me. 

6:00 pm

I have had my spinal block, and am paralyzed from the chest down. Robbie comes in and it makes me feel so much better. 5 minutes later they pull Ainsley out and show her to Robbie. They clean her off a bit and hand her over to him and I get to see her for the first time. Robbie holds a newborn for the first time as well. We were so proud. So then Robbie leaves with Ainsley and a nurse to go and have her weighed and measured. While he is gone they sewed me up and bring me to the recovery room where Robbie and Ainsley are waiting on me. My mom comes in and I get to see her witness her first grandchild. So precious! 

8:30 pm

Finally get to go back to my room. We just get to sit there and spoil Ainsley and I have no idea what lays ahead of me in the process of recovery because the pain medicine has yet to wear off and I haven't tried to  walk yet. 

This is what happened the day of Ainsley's birth. Her birth story. It was not at all what I had planned but you know what? Nothing in the past year has been what I had planned besides marrying my wonderful husband. Other than that it was been a learning year for me and the Lord. I obviously still have some learning to do because He continues to show me that my plans are not always His. I didn't get to have the natural labor I wanted but God knew that I wasn't going to. He knew Ainsley was going to be a chunk and that I am a little person. I really need to learn to be okay with His plans and to seek them out more daily. He knows what is best for me. 

Ainsley and I are doing well. She probably better than me. I am still trying to walk around better and getting in and out of the bed is a chore. I cant wait to finally be able to sleep on my side again. Every day it gets a little easier. And I have never loved or appreciated Robbie more than I do now. He is a wonderful dad and shows his love for me so much during this time by the little things he does. It is so refreshing to know that you married a good man. Not only a good man but someone that you are completely and utterly in love with and can smile at while he is sleeping and you are feeding your baby. These situations I think God gives us for a reason and you can take them and be frustrated with them or you can rest in the reassurance that God does not forsake you nor does He plan to harm you.