Feeling Convicted

I was referred to a blog the other day because the writer and her family were in need of prayer. I don't always just click on every blog I am referred to but the story really grabbed my attention. 

The blog is Just for the Record and it is written by Ani Taylor. 

The story is about this little girl. 

Her name is Ruby Jane. 

Last week she died of liver failure and was only 7 months old. 

Reading the blogs that Ani writes as she goes through this ordeal is inspiring. I don't even know her, yet I cry with her. I feel her pain as she writes, but I am also inspired by her faith in Christ during her situation. 

I went through her older blog post, just to see how the health problems with Ruby Jane carried out and how she copes with it through out the months. 

There is one blog post that caught my attention, it is called "Perspective" and it was written after Ani and her husband found out that they were not a match for their daughters liver transplant...here is a snippet of it:

     "The old me thought I was tired and stressed out. The old me was unsatisfied with my weight, my clothes, and my ugly carpet. The old me dreaded hearing the babies cry over the monitor too early in the morning. The old me was bored watching cartoons and folding laundry.The old me hated making breakfast, and pouring endless sippys full of milk everyday. The old me dreaded running errands with two kids to get in and out of car seats and into shopping carts. The old me did not think it was a big deal to spend a Saturday at the beach, or paddle boating around the lake. The old me was tired and a grump from walking up the hill to our house from the lake. The old couldn't wait until nap time, when I could have time to myself. The old me hated doing dishes, and checking the mail. The old me rushed bedtime and skipped pages in bedtime stories. The old me sang lullaby's quickly, and was reluctant to sing "just one more",

What was the old me thinking!?!?!......."

(Read the rest here)

As I read this I thought "This is me!!" 

I grumble and complain all the time about my weight and how different I look now. 

I dread hearing Ainsley cry in the middle of the night. 

I hate waking up early. 

I am always tired and complain about it. 

I try so hard to get housework done that sometimes I just let Ainsley lay on her activity mat to watch TV.

I dread taking her to the grocery store. 

I grumble because Robbie and I can never go out with out getting someone to watch her.  

I know that my baby is healthy. But what if one day she isn't? 

I take her for granted. I continue to live in this bubble where "I had a baby earlier than I wanted to...woe is me...blah blah blah"

Ani Taylor....your baby girl hit me hard...and her life was for a greater good. 

I fully believe that I need to shed myself as well from the old me and start cherishing every moment I have with my Ainsley. Because there are people like Ani who had to bear the cross of losing a child too soon. 

I couldn't imagine. I honestly don't want to imagine.

Anyways, Ani and her husband Matt have started a foundation for Ruby Jane, there is more info on their blog. It is to get people to remember to donate their organs or become a live organ donor.

And if you get the chance scroll over to Ani's blog and read it. It is amazing. But I must warn you, make sure you have a box of kleenex next to you! 

Also I am sorry I have been MIA. There is a lot going on, hopefully I can get past it and write again soon. :)